Sunday, November 24, 2013


I have mixed emotions about yesterday.  A lot of good happened.  However, something happened that makes me feel awful about myself.  The details aren't important; but I'm tired of being gullible and I 'm tired of my own lack of confidence.  

I woke up this morning wanting to hide.  Just find me a nice dark hole.  I'll crawl in it and just stay there for all eternity. Some people might miss me at first, but they'll get over it.  

And then this scripture popped in my head. Matthew 5:14-16 "Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.  Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

The only perfect person on this earth was Jesus Christ.  Other than he, all men and women who have done the Father's work have been mortal and have made mistakes.  It doesn't matter how gruesome and awful we feel.  Heavenly Father still wants us to stand up and do His will so that we can be a light unto others.  That takes strength.  That's the type of strength and faith we need, though, to be able to utilize the Atonement and live in happiness with our Father in Heaven.  

Luckily for us, our Father in Heaven always looks down on us with love.  It doesn't matter what we've done.  He still wants us to turn to Him and be better.  Knowing that makes it easier to climb out of the dark hole and shine.  

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

How Do You Know When You're Done

I've often thought of life as being in a race blind folded.  You keep running as fast and as hard as you can because you don't know where/when the finish line is.  

I feel a strange.  I feel an emptiness that comes when your heart breaks; but the emptiness has been filled with this strange gel type stuff.  So I'm not empty.  I just feel...weird.  I'm confused.  

I look at my day.  I go to work.  I go to rehearsal.  Sometimes I visit a friend and sometimes I stay home and brain-dead my head with TV.  Either way I almost always brain-dead my head with facebook.  Why?  What is the point of all of that?  

I feel like Heavenly Father has given me a couple of different tasks to do.  I've done them, but I haven't gotten anywhere.  So part of me wonders if the tasks are in fact complete.  Hence the title of this post.  

Why is it easier for some people to form relationships than others?  I want to ask what is wrong with me.  That's a dangerous question.  I wish I knew the antidote though.

Why do I continue to write in a blog that very few people, if any, read?  Why is it so important for my voice to be on the internet if I'm unwilling to publicize it more?  

Why am I contemplating life when it's one in the morning?  Isn't there a better time to do that?  


Friday, November 15, 2013

Faith is Hard

The movie 17 Miracles offers true stories about Willie Handcart Company.  One of the stories is of a family that buried their girl because she was frozen in the morning.  As they were about to continue on their journey, the mother turns back.  "We were promised by a servant of the Lord all the members of our family would arrive safely in Zion."  She proceeded to uncover her daughter and warm her limbs.  Even the father questioned what she was doing, but she was adamant.  The girl was revived.  She later got married and had children.

This story scares me.  They could have walked away.  They could have made it to Zion without turning back.  The daughter was dead; but the mother remembered the blessing.  She remembered it and had faith in it.  The girl got married and had children.  It was part of God's plan for the girl to reach Zion.  Then why did her family find her dead in the morning?  Why was there that moment when the blessing could have been dissolved?  The faith that was required of the mother was incredible.

It makes me wonder how many blessings I didn't receive simply because I lacked the faith.  I have been promised things that I don't feel like I received.  In my mind, I justified it that maybe I just have to wait. What if that's not the answer?  What if the answer is that I didn't act with faith?  What if the blessing really was lost because I didn't do my part?

A couple of days ago I felt liked I received revelation from the Lord.  The next day, yesterday, was brutal.  I received information that seemed to contradict what I had been given.  I began to doubt what I had received.  I doubted in  my own ability to receive revelation because I will tell you if that wasn't revelation then I don't know what is.

I thought of the mother who revived her daughter.  She had faith in a blessing that looked like it was broken.  She acted with faith.  I realized that what I had received was not contradicted by the additional information.  There was still something for me to do.  The end result would not be what I had originally imagined, but I could still fulfill my part.

I can still act.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

My Name is Marla

Have you ever wanted to get bitten by a vampire?

Have you ever wanted to be turned into a zombie?

Do you think that I'm adorable and would you willingly let me lure you into a creepy mansion of vampires?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you should come to the Orem Castle of Chaos for a Mystery Theater spoof on Twilight premiering November 22.

Warning: You will have to sign a waiver so that when you get eaten, you can't sue us.

That translates to the fact that the cast can and will be allowed to touch you and potentially grab you.  Don't struggle, it'll only make things worse.

Friday, November 08, 2013

Time to Break Down the Brick Wall

This post is a sequel to this post.

I want to change the analogy a bit.  The path that is outlined me leads me to a device that will help me tear down the brick wall.  This device doesn't actually tears down the wall.  It makes me stronger so that I can tear it down.  The point, after all, is to get on the other side; but I've got to do it right.

This past week, I started attacking the wall again.  I thought I was doing a good job... until right now.

Have no fear though, I have gone down the path and found the device.  The plan is in motion.  I will activate it this next Thursday.  Then we'll see if I have the power to take on the wall.  And in the meantime, I might throw a few kicks at the wall just for fun.

Monday, November 04, 2013

Once Upon A Time I Was Inspired by Snow White and the Evil Queen

Here are two quotes from this week's episode of Once Upon A Time.  Regina should probably work on her grammar, but you get the idea.  (I say that, and then you all probably groan at the way of punctuated these.  Ha ha.)

"Because you deserve a happy ending, Emma.  And happy endings always start with hope."  Snow White

"The only thing worse about telling your prince how you feel and rejecting you is never telling him at all.  Never knowing.  Never even having a chance at true love.  That’s right dear, he’s gone."  Regina