Monday, September 23, 2013

Pictures and Pressure

This is post 499.  I feel like Post 500 should be awesome, but I am liable to post something lame under the pressure I create for myself.  So, in honor of the pressure I am feeling, let me post a few pictures about my life.  

Some days just really make me happy.  I've actually had quite a few great days lately.

I don't remember whose eye this belongs to.

Look at me!

This was my attempt of taking a picture with my nephew.  It didn't quite work out...

He's such a good older brother!

Sleepy sleep sleep.

Simple things amuse me, like this big cloud.

Okay, so we saw Starlight Express at Tuacahn on Saturday.  That was amazing!  So since we were down in St. George, we decided to go to church across the street from the temple.  Behold me out in front of the temple!

Me and my sister!  Don't you love my glasses!

Story about the spider: Once upon a time I had a container of Oreos. Well, I stuffed them in a grocery bag and they sat there for a couple of weeks.  Today I decided I wanted them.  So I got them out and started munching on them.  I went to put them back in the bag, and this is what I saw in the bag.  I'm not sure how the spider died, but it makes me question the Oreos I just ate.  Mmm, they were good though, even if there were remnants of spider.  And I will continue to eat them, so there.  And the dead spider will sit there as a marker for all spiders everywhere.  "Come near my stuff and DIE!"  

You will probably see most of these pictures on Facebook in the next few days.  


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

That Sick Feeling

You know the sick feeling you get when there's something you need to do, but you haven't done it.  You know time is running out, but you can't get yourself to do it, or you just haven't found time, or you're waiting for someone else to do their part first, etc.

I have that feeling right now.  The problem is I don't know why.  The Relief Society activity is over and I don't have any more obligations for a while.  My stomach is in knots with anticipation for something, but I can't figure out what that something is.

I am dead tired right now, but I don't know how well I'll sleep because my stomach is doing somersaults.

The end.

Hermit Week

Hm, I said that I wasn't as stressed out as much as I should be.  Well, don't worry.  The stress caught up to me.  I don't think it's so much that I wasn't stressed, as I didn't recognize the stress until it overwhelmed me.

This morning I woke up and smiled with pleasure because I knew it wasn't time to get up.  Usually that's a happy thought because I can roll over and go back to sleep.  I forgot that that hasn't been working for me these last few months.  I'm not entirely sure why, but I know why it didn't work today.  Our visiting teaching dinner is today and I haven't quite gotten everything I said I would.  So there's a restlessness in my heart.

It's great when you're busy.  It really is.  I feel productive when I'm busy.  However, when I look at a week that has every night filled, I swear my stress-level rises.  This week, so far, I have Friday night free.  You know, date night.  Obviously that would be my one free night.  Part of me hopes something comes up, and another part of me hopes people leave me alone so that I can have some time to myself.

I kind of want to have a hermit week.  By that I mean I would skip FHE, skip institute, and skip any other activity that should come my way.  I would come home from work and work on myself, my goals, and the things that I keep saying I want to change.  Right now that sounds like such a great idea. I don't know though.  I fear that it could lead me to a depressed state if I close out all socializing contact.  Argh.

Does anyone else continuously hear Dory's voice in your head every time you feel tired and want to give up?  "Just keep swimming.  Just keep swimming.  Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.  What do we do?  We swim."

Monday, September 09, 2013

I'm not Drowning

My calling in my ward is Relief Society Activities Chair.  In our ward, we don't have Ward Activity Chairs, so the different auxiliaries rotate taking care of the ward activities.  The Priesthood Activities Chair is supposed to be a representative with me to the Stake Activities as well.  (That is except for the fact that he just left and we don't have a replacement yet).  And since we don't have a Sports person in our ward, I work as a liaison to that stake committee as well.  Up until this point, I can't say I have done too much.  However, this month is a little crazy.

Last Thursday our stake had an activity and I was supposed to help out with.  This Friday we have a ward activity that I'm in charge of.  Saturday there's a Stake Volleyball Activity.  I don't have any specific assignment with this, except I guess publicity.  I feel like a hypocrite, though, when I try to tell people to do things I'm not doing.  So I should probably go.  Then next Tuesday, the 17th, we have a Relief Society Activity that I'm in charge of.

And yet for some reason I'm not as stressed out as I feel like I should be.

The end.

Saturday, September 07, 2013

Facebook Statuses Never Posted Round 2

It's amazing the difference one step can make.  It's also amazing how difficult it is to take a step when you don't believe you can complete the sequence.

Do you think that it's eating too much sugar, or logging onto facebook too often that is causing my brain to die?

Sometimes I think the angels that record our prayers rewrite mine.  "Oh look, she prayed for this again. Well, she doesn't need this.  Let's say that she actually asked for that and then she'll get that instead.  Good plan!"

Just in case you wanted to know, a $4 shower head from Walmart is a ton better than having no shower head at all.

Sleep!  Sleep!  Why has thou forsaken me?  My body hates me.  I declare WAR!

All right!  I get it!  Don't go to bed early!  Every time I go to bed early, I just wake up three hours later without being able to sleep.

That awkward moment when you look in the mirror and realize you look kind of scary... and your friends just saw you like this.

Today my dad said to me and my sister, "You girls are so kindly and nice.  Make some trouble."

Why won't my roommates remove the hair from the drain?  Do they think that the hair goblin will eat it up?  'Cause I don't think he exists and I am not a goblin.

Dear Facebook, I am constantly updating my status in my head, it just never makes it to your site I guess.  

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Lessons I've Learned From Playing Ultimate

1.  It is better to keep running at full speed, even when you think the frisbee is out of reach.  You will amaze yourself at what you can catch if you just keep running.

2. Sometimes the footsteps you hear behind you is not the opposing team.  Communication is important so that you don't mess up a catch for each other.

3.  Also about communication: If you want the disc, just standing there isn't enough.  Sometimes your team will see you.  Sometimes, however, you need to speak up so that your team member knows that you are there and that you are ready to receive the disc.

4.  In my opinion it is always better to throw to the person who you think will drop the disc rather than throw it to empty space.  Throwing to empty space isn't playing ultimate.  My experience shows that usually people on both sides can throw the disc across the field.  If you're not using your team, you're not playing the game.  Also, how does the inexperienced person get better if you never give him/her a chance?  He/she might surprise you and catch the disc; but even if he/she doesn't, you have expressed trust in that person. When you express trust is a person you give them an opportunity to excel.  You can't play ultimate by yourself.  The best players I've seen aren't the ones who make extraordinary throws or catches.  The best players can throw to the worst players and have them catch it and they can catch their throws as well.  They don't make the game about themselves, they make it about their teammates.

Hmm, I kind of went off on that didn't I. Well, when I say I judge people based on how they play ultimate, it's this point that I'm talking about.  I couldn't care less if you can catch or throw, I care about who you put your trust in.

5.  Getting up after someone crashes into you isn't that difficult if you love the game enough to want to keep playing.

Sunday, September 01, 2013

Control the Conversation

Hi.  I'm not entirely sure of my purpose in writing this post.  It might be to complain.  It might be to seek help.  It might be to just inform the world of my problem.  I'm not really sure.

Usually when you think of someone controlling the conversation, you think of the person who is talking or leading the conversation.  I think that's a great definition.  However, what I want is to control the conversation for me.

I don't know how to control my situation.  Going to a gathering alone freaks me out because I feel awkward if I'm standing alone not talking to anyone.  So I immediately try to find someone who I can talk to without seeming like I'm creepily eavesdropping my way into their conversation.  I also feel awkward when I've successfully maneuvered my way into a conversation, I'm sitting there like a dead ant on a log, and then the group disbands!  Now what do I do?  My group left me!  I have to find someone else to talk to.  Problem 1: Getting into the conversation.  

This problem isn't a problem when you have a united group.  Please note that I love people.  The more the merrier.  My ideal situation is when the large group is playing a game like signs.  I don't have to talk, but I still feel like I'm socializing.  It's great!  But I digress.

Problem 2: Getting out of the conversation.  Seriously!  This is a problem.  I don't know how to leave.  Today I saw a friend walking away from a different conversation and going home. Everything inside me wanted to intercept this person, but I didn't know how to leave my conversation.  I don't know how to just walk away.  I wasn't even contributing to the conversation I was supposedly in.  I was just standing there, like a dead ant on a log, utterly useless but for some reason still there.

Problem 2 is why I'm posting this.  See, people talk about social etiquette a lot.  They teach socially awkward people how to start a conversation and the like.  What I need is a lesson on how to end a conversation.  How do you leave without offending?  How do you tell people to get out of your house when you're tired?  How do you ditch your current group because you notice someone else needs your attention more?  I think part of my problem is I have felt so ignored in my life that as long as someone is minimally talking to me, I feel like they deserve my full attention.  How do I change this?

I would ask for advice, but I can guarantee you it won't help me.  If, however, someone wants to have practice sessions with me, that might actually help.  Words are meaningless though.  Good night.