Thursday, August 29, 2013

Farewell, I May Never See You Again

I've posted about this before.  I feel like I should reference the times I've talked about this just to show that I'm aware of the fact that I post about the same things over and over again.  Go here if you want to.  Go here if you want to read more on the subject.

And if you don't feel like digging into my past, I'll just give you a synopsis.  Once upon a time there was this flavor of ice cream.  I like(d) it.  It's called chocolate malted crunch.  I have searched the brands over and I have only found Thrifty's ice cream to have it.  However, I couldn't find it in Utah.  See, Rite Aid bought out Thrifty's, but I think Thrifty's is a California company so the Rite Aid out here doesn't have it.  Sadness.

Well, my mom loves me.  When I informed her of my dilemma, she put forth an effort to make sure that there was always chocolate malted crunch for me when I came home to visit.  I ate more ice cream at home for a week then I did for a semester.  You know how it goes, you treasure the things you can't have.  So it's value has gone up.

This brings us to my current dilemma.  My parents have moved here to Utah.  When I go home, there won't be chocolate malted crunch anymore.

Please, a moment of silence for the tragic loss.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Tearing My Heart Strings

Tuesdays are dedicated to glow-in-the-dark ultimate frisbee.  I happen to love ultimate frisbee.

As I was meandering around my room a few moments ago, I realized that there was noise coming from outside my window.  I peaked through my blinds.  Yes, yes indeed it was raining.  A wave of panic flushed over me.  People might not want to play ultimate if it's raining.  "Well I'm going!" I shouted to the empty space.  I thought of a day like today many weeks ago when only three of us showed up.  I could tell that our fearless leader did not want to play in the rain, but he felt the need to come in case people showed up.  "He might hate me, but I'm going!" I shouted again to the empty space.

Then I got a text.  "No," I cringed.  Sure enough, it was from our fearless leader.

"Look outside.  Frisbee's canceled tonight. :("  I responded with sadness.  My worst fears had come to pass and there was nothing I could do.  Then there was another text. "Okay so I've got quite a few sad comments that they would like to play in the rain.  Would you like to still play anyways?"

I responded immediately, "Yes yes yes!"  I started jumping for joy.  The world was a happy place!  I am so grateful for friends who enjoy frisbee as much as me.  The world was mine and I could do anything.  I love life!

Then I got another text.

"Okay turns out a lot of people feigned sadness.  :( sorry"

The world is a dark and bitter place.  You can all go hide in your loathsome holes I never want to see any of you again...

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Guardian Angels

Today I was thinking about guardian angels.  I remember reading once something that led me to believe that guardian angels were often times our deceased family members.  I wonder if they get to choose who they accompany, or if it's an assignment.  I have tons of ancestors, and they all have tons of descendants.  I mean, Adam himself is one of my ancestors, but I highly doubt that he ever personally walks beside me.

I wonder what they think of me?  Do they get excited when they get to watch over me?  Do they get bored?  Do they think that they are wasting their time?  How many walk beside me throughout the day? What do they think when they see me crying in my car without saying anything?  They can't read thoughts, and my thoughts go all over the place.  For that matter, what do they think when I scream out for joy, also without saying out loud what I am screaming about?

How often do my grandparents think of me?  Does my grandma ever say, "I want to walk with Aubry today?"  Do my grandpas know and care who I am?  I only met one of them briefly in life.  Do my great grandparents ever walk beside me?  Are they disappointed that I don't know much about them?  What about my Great Aunt Edna?  She's not a direct ancestor, but I remember feeling close to her when she was alive.  Of course, she was old.  Maybe she didn't feel the same connection to me that I felt to her.  Little children have a tendency to love everyone.  Could she ever be chosen to be my guardian angel?  Or is she restricted to her direct descendants?

What about people whose immediate ancestors died without knowing the gospel?  I'm sure once they accept the gospel, they'll jump on the opportunity to benefit their children; but what if it takes a while for them to accept the gospel?  I don't know how time works in the spirit world.  Who are those people's guardian angels?  Can my guardian angel stop to help someone I pass if I say a little prayer in my heart for that person?  Could they stop even if I didn't say a prayer in my heart?  What kinds of interactions can they have with us?

Lots of questions and things to think about.  I hope that my grandparents are proud of me.  I hope that I am a pleasure to be around.  I hope my guardian angels don't leave me because life is full of ups and downs.  I feel like I'm on a roller coaster, being flipped this way and that with little control.