Saturday, April 28, 2012

Tender Mecies

I seem to be making a habit of writing in my blog before work.  Oh well.

So I just wanted to mention some tender mercies of the last few days.

When I needed a hug the most, a former roommate stopped by to check to see if she had mail.

She sent another former roommate over to comfort me.

I got invited to a bachelor party.  I know that's weird, but weird things help you stay out of the dumps and recognize that your life is awesome.

While doing room inspections in the MTC, I stopped to look at a scripture they had posted.  "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days."  Doctrine and Covenants 24:8.  Except I'm pretty sure they tweaked the end of the scripture to say, "For joy cometh in the morning."  Anyway, that scripture came into my life at the right time.

I realized once again that I have a ton of missionaries who always have my back.

I got to chase quail.  In other words, I got to feel like a child again.  

A friend made tamales and now I have some.  He didn't make me pay for them, but I did anyway.  

A good friend surprised me and moved into my apartment complex right below me.  A great summer awaits me.

My former roommates came over and brought me flowers, a teddy bear, and hugs.  And love.  They make me happy.  

Life really is great.  I'm doing so much better than I was yesterday morning.  That's not to say that I'm back to my old self.  That takes time.  At work yesterday, my boss told me, "Don't stay in the dark too long."  I thought that was interesting since I had just posted about sitting in the dark.  I don't know how I got to be so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.  

Friday, April 27, 2012

Crying and Sleep

It's funny.  When I cry myself to sleep, I usually wake up happily.  The problem is that when I'm awake, I think back to what made me cry in the first place.  Then the peace I woke up with is gone.

Can I just say that I think the world of April Meservy (and her family...but that's beside the point).  Her song More of Less is constantly ingrained on my mind of late.

I know there are things I should learn.  Instead, it's easier to take from it all the wrong messages.  I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel.  It's just a bit easier to sit down here, where I am, in the dark and cold.  I'll stand up eventually.  After all, it's not that fun to sit still for too long.  But for now, let me rest.  It's not over.  But before I join life's battle again I need to heal on the inside.

And it's 5:39.  That means that I probably need to eat a quick breakfast and get to work.

Sunday, April 08, 2012

You Make My Heart Beat

Many of you know that I have a roommate that is graduating shortly. What you didn't know is that she is part of this underground research team dealing with time machines. This weekend was her chance to take them home. These time machines take the form of a vest. As one would expect of a time machine, these vests come with lots of numbers and dials and gizmos that no one understands except for the people that do.

Well, so Savannah distributed quite a number of vests to her friends. As I glanced around the circle (our briefing circle) I realized that everyone had a timer on theirs. Savannah's timer was the most ahead. A few seconds later came Stephanie's. And then there was mine. The vests needed to be charged for an hour. After that, the person would whirl through time and space. Now Savannah was saying something important, but it didn't make any sense to me. So I figured I'd just go with the flow and pretend I understood. Then if there was a problem, I could always ask then.

Well, the timers all drew closer to an hour and eventually Savannah disappeared. I looked to Stephanie. "Make sure your vest is at 1/8th and when you start to feel yourself go, call out "Far West." 1/8th? Which dial was she referring to? And I'm pretty sure she wasn't go to Far West. How were we going to meet up? She disappeared. I turned to my honorary roommate Kunkee. Together we finally found the dial for 1/8th, but it was after my scheduled departure time. He pointed at a different number on my vest. "That should read 50," he informed me. "You've lost power. You need to get your heart rate up."

So off I went, bouncing off of walls, jumping up and down, and running in circles. The number increased a little, but not as much as I needed. Now it was in red informing me that the vest really wanted to go, but I had messed things up. So I tried a new tactic. I thought of my boyfriend. The result was instantaneous. My heart rate went up and I flew through time and space to Far West.

I landed in a field, and woke up. Don't you love dreams.